Eliminate "Don't" - The Results May Amaze

I have received some queries and feedback following my Post on Thursday 16 November and specifically, the closing paragraph and the comment about eliminating the word “don’t” from your dialogue.

In response, I am pleased to expand on this today.

The creation of good and positive habits starts by what we input and embed in to our sub-conscious, or seek to programme in to others.

Let’s start with an incredibly basic example:

You want your 3 year old to walk on the footpath (sidewalk) rather than on the road. Your instruction can be:

1.       Don’t go on the road 
or

2.       Always walk on the footpath

It is easy to say “don’t” but in reality, staying off the road can only be achieved by doing something else, such as walking on the footpath.

Our subconscious is incapable of storing the concept of “don’t” so when it hears the phrase starting with or containing the word “don’t” or “something not to be done”, it is incapable of recognising nor can it store the “don’t”. In the above example, what is stored is “go on the road”.

To the golfers, have you ever stood ready to take a shot over a water hazard and said to yourself “don’t hit it in the water”? What happens next? The ball gets wet.

Interestingly, if you play off a handicap of 18 or better, you won’t even consider the water hazard, concentrating only where you want the ball to land.

How often have you heard the coach of a sporting team, particularly a junior or amateur team make a half time or mid game address where their language is all about what not to do? Don’t drop the ball should become “when catching the ball, be sure to have a slight bend of the elbows and have your fingers equally spread”.

It is far easier to say “don’t” but far more valuable to explain what to do. It is also more challenging to state the what to do.

Try it for a week as in really try it in all aspects of life. Change your “self speak” too.

You will amazed at the difference it makes.

"Don't" simply does not work. "Do" does.