I am a white
50 plus year old male who has enjoyed a career largely in Leadership roles. As
such, over a 30 year period, I could have, should have, been far more proactive in countering inappropriate workplace
and societal behaviours.
It is easy to
do as many of my generation do and use the excuse that “times were different
then” or “what was acceptable then is not ok now”. Such an excuse is invalid.
The fact is,
it was never, ever OK. Never.
Too many
times I have sat in a male environment and been a party to conversations that
demeaned women. Too few times have I called this out as being unacceptable.
As a
participant in team sports for most of my life, I was in a male environment of
competitive people where success is bound to a need for a healthy ego.
Competition was not only on the field. What I will refer to as “off field
achievements” were discussed openly within the confines of the “locker room”,
at after match drinks or other gatherings.
It could be
argued that much of what was being “bragged” about was not true but that is not
the point. The fact that such demeaning conversations occurred could not help
but reflect even if only sub-consciously in the way us males treated and viewed
women on a day by day basis.
I never really called out the inappropriateness
of such conversations and only occasionally made an excuse to leave the discussion. On a very
rare occasion I did ask the question “how would you feel about your sister
being spoken of in such a manner” but not often.
I may not
have been an active contributor to such conversations, however I was there and
was therefore a participant. Passive participation is no better.
The most
damaging thing about this behaviour is how it was passed down from generation
to generation. 16 year olds were exposed to the environment and learned to be
immune to it and then perpetuate it.
The proverbial
Locker Room is not a sanctuary where inappropriate behaviour in any form is
excusable. There is no Locker Room moratorium.
Conversations
taking place in any environment that are demeaning to Women, or demeaning to
any group of people only serve to legitimise the behaviours that are
perpetrated towards Woman and others. This is then reflected in broader society.
We are very
quick to call on our high-profile sports people to set an example, and critise
them when they don’t. They do have a role to play, however far more can be
achieved at the local sporting club.
New minimum standards can be set by the many incredibly dedicated suburban sporting club
volunteers.
The Presidents,
Secretaries, Committee Members, Coaches, Canteen Staff, Grounds People, Jersey
Launderers, Equipment Officers and others. Collectively, they are in contact
with and in a position to influence the behaviours of many thousands of boys,
youths, young men and adults. Collectively, they care.
Boys learn
so many positive things through team sport such as working together,
selflessness, resilience, discipline and tolerance. It is an obvious environment
to instil respect, understanding and proper behaviour standards towards women.
There has
been huge progress made to reducing smoking in our society and this has been
driven by education at all levels starting at a young age. Few teenagers and
even fewer males take up smoking. It is socially unacceptable, it is not a cool
thing to do.
We must make
inappropriate behaviour towards women equally as uncool, and then some.
Perhaps it
is time to launch the campaign #iamonboard
To the Women
of the world, I apologise.
To the women
of the world, I promise to do better, always.
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