Friends Of Our Youth

There is something different about old friends.

They are both challenging and rewarding.

Today I spent time separately with two people I have known for 30 years or more.

Conversations were effortless and moved seamlessly between the past, present and future.

Events of the past were recalled with pleasure, satisfaction and at times, embarrassment.

The activities and achievements of children were shared as were plans for the next phase of life, the post work phase.

In one case, we discussed the changing work environment and the impact technology is having and will continue to have on future careers and working life. She shared a story of recently challenging her team to consider what their industry will look like in 10 years’ time; the impact technology will have and how to best prepare for it. She is a dynamic 60-year-old senior executive seeking input from a younger cohort to ensure her workplace is planning for changing times. The responses were uninspiring.

What was important is that even as her career is coming to its end, she is still planning for, thinking about and preparing her employers business for its next evolution even though she won’t actually be a part of it.

How many of us in the last few years of our career fall in to the trap of adopting a steady as she goes approach?

In the second case, we discussed retirement and the ever-rising cost of living. She is considering the merits of moving to live overseas as it is considerably cheaper than living in Melbourne.

I have heard various stories of retirees re-locating to Asian countries and recently read an article about retirement options in Europe. The world has genuinely changed when we can seriously consider retirement locations without being impaired by boundaries or borders.

What was most enjoyable about both “catch ups” was the openness of conversation, exchanges of views and judgement free nature of the interaction.

All too often we are at our most defensive and most protective when spending time with long standing friends. After all, they know us and our history. When younger, we are more fragile of ego and building of image and the temptation is to adopt the persona of our younger selves and not our evolved selves when conversing with those of our youth, or in these cases, of our teens.

All friends are important, valuable and valued. However, if we can break down the barriers of our ego, perhaps the most rewarding are those friendships of our youth that have endured the test of time and geographical separation.