Defining Ourselves Is Not Our Decision

It was over a coffee meeting today that my thoughts turned again to how we define ourselves.

The person I met with is an independent contractor with a particular interest in new technologies and start up enterprises.

He is not a native of Australia however, having lived and worked in a number of Asian, Australasian, European and American Cities has decided to base himself in Brisbane and make it his home.

In addition to his professional expertise, he is a talented endurance athlete including having completed a number of Iron Man Triathlons, the most recent of which was in 2012.

Business and personal circumstances combined 5 months ago to allow him to prepare for another tilt at Iron Man fame.

Through a variety of conversations, he decided in the last few weeks he doesn’t need to do another Iron Man event.

He came to realise that he was defining himself by way of being an Iron Man Triathlete and in doing so, was distracting himself from a range of other things in life.

He very consciously and deliberately decided to no longer be an Iron Man.

He remains highly motivated to remain fit and healthy and to continue endurance sporting activities. He will compete in a Marathon overseas in May and perhaps another locally in July, it is just such activities will compliment rather than dominate his being.

I enquired as to how he came about this “self defining” realisation and he mentioned a newly blooming relationship.

Bluntly, his new “friend” put it to him that his obsession with training and sole focus on the Iron Man Event meant very little time for her. It was she who asked if he always plans to define himself as an Iron Man.

His first reaction was to explain that this is who he is and who she was attracted too until it dawned on him this is a repeating pattern. He realised for the first time that other relationships and potential relationships had faltered due to his obsession with training for the next event.

He also realised that if he didn’t change his ways, he was more than likely destined for aloneness.

How we are defined is a perplexing question. It is also one we don’t really get to answer, at least not about ourselves.

Our ego may drive a type of behaviour that dictates how we may want to be defined however this is either not sustainable or is not a pathway to being happy and fulfilled. Even an actor gets to be themselves when not working.

As with many things, the answer is based in simplicity.

If we focus on being the best version of our authentic selves, we have no concern with how we are defined, and more so, we simply won’t care.

Wishing a safe, fulfilling and authentic Easter to all.

Let's Talk

How beneficial would it be if only we would talk to each other?

I was remined of this while cycling yesterday. I was recalled two occasions when careers may well have benn quite different of only a conversation had occurred.   

The first example concerned a business meeting with a recently resigned Chief Manager.  

It seemed really important almost to the point of being obsessive that he explain his reasons for leaving.  

He explained that the CEO is firmly and happily entrenched and after some years as Chief Manager, a promotion to CEO is not possible, hence his decision leave.

It was barely 3 months later the CEO announced they were departing the role to have a break and then pursue other opportunities and interests.

How different might the outcome have been if the Chief Manager had initiated an open and honest conversation with his CEO about his career goals and plans?

The second occasion concerns a sportsperson being considered for representative selection.

It was in an era where a player was categorized as predominantly a left side or a right side player.

A certain player was known to be in contention for State Selection and in reality was considered a certainty.

At the conclusion of the State Championships, the Team to represent the State was announced and the player in question was not selected.

The State Coach sort out Coach of this players team and explained that he was close to selection, it was just that they needed a left side player.

There was to quite some embarrassment it was revealed that in his career to date, he had almost only played left side and was as good, if not better on the left.

All involved would have done well to have had a discussion before the team was selected.

His career was adversely impacted by this conversation taking place all too late.

What reminded me of this?

I went for a bike ride yesterday morning under skies that were threatening to open with rain.

Because of this, I designed a 5 kilometre loop so that I was never too far from my place of work and therefore shelter.

During the first loop, when passing a construction site a worker digging a hole waved and called out “you are going to get wet”.

Not long after, a few drops started to fall.

I decided I would continue riding until rain was heavy enough for work to cease on the construction site.

He waved again on loops 2 and 3.

The rain was getting heavier as I passed by the next time around and I was half expecting hole digging to have been postponed. He was still digging and waved again. I kept cycling.

When I next approached the construction site “my guy” was loading gear in to his vehicle and as I reached where he was, he called out “you win”.

I stopped and he explained he was going to keep digging for as long as I kept riding.

Both of us were now wet.

If only we had a conversation an hour earlier.

In these days of SMS, whatsapp, messenger and whatever else, still nothing beats a simple face to face conversation.

Student Rallies, Optimism and Cold War Alliances 2.0

Some days there is so much to write about but at the same time, little motivation to do so.

Old Cold War Allies have banded together to expel Russian Diplomats. Russia will most certainly respond in kind,

How did that work for you all last time? You know, back when we had a big wall separating East from West and all those execution style deaths on park benches on cold European winter days.

Or did I watch too many iron curtain related movies from many years ago?

Speaking of wars, the student rallies in the United States supporting of gun control laws reminded me of another time students rallied and changed the world.

I am reminded of the University students around the world protesting against the United States and its allies ongoing involvement in the war in Vietnam.

The student protests in the USA this past week have been impressive as has been the eloquence of their spokespeople. It all indicates great hope these leaders of the future will bring a more compassionate, inclusive and peaceful voice to the world.

Then again, the political elite of today were also the generation taking action to bring about the end of the Vietnam War.

How quickly they moved on, or did they simply forget?

I will however remain positive. The students of the 1970’s were protesting against a war. The students of today are rallying in support of gun control.

It is after all far easier to be against something than it is to stand for something.

In our still successful, but stumbling democracies, the narrative has increasingly been negative.

I know of rusted on Democrats who voted Republican in the Presidential election, or as they put it, they voted against Hilary Clinton.

Perhaps the biggest thing to come out of the rallies in support of gun control will be a generation that once again stands for something rather than taking the easier and less intellectual stance of being against what the other person is in favour of.

We can but hope.

 

Leadership Fundamentals - Who not What

“Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”.

So much is written, spoken and lectured about what constitutes a good leader.

Article after article reference the things good leaders do that separate them from the rest.

The Men’s cricket related events in South Africa have me thinking most of what is written and discussed is peripheral to what truly separates the good Leaders.

It is not about what they do that makes a leader good, or great, it starts with who they are.

Leaders I have experienced and Leadership peers I have worked with in business have included the good, the bad and at times, the indifferent.

The qualities the good Leaders have possessed are not learned, copied or cultivated.

They have possessed the fundamental qualities of credibility, honesty, courage and integrity.

I recall Leaders who displayed all these qualities and practiced them at all times.

I have experienced leaders who may have slipped from time to time in some areas, but were also honest, consistent and uncompromising in their business principals.

Then again, I have worked with the less than truthful and perhaps worst of all, the tell tales, those who lack the integrity or courage to address a matter or concern with you directly.

I could always deal with the less than truthful Leader or the tell-tale colleague and sadly, version of these behaviours are all too common.

As much as I may have lacked respect for them, and I assume they lacked respect for themselves, they never stooped so low as to have any subordinate breech a rule or regulation in order to advance their own cause or the cause of the area(s) under their span of control.

Further, during a career in Financial Services spanning 5 decades, I have never once been asked or instructed by a Leader to do anything that would breach the rules.

Ultimately good leadership is only about who you are not about what you do;

Written across the top of the blackboard in the craft room at my Primary School were these words I have always remembered.

“A measure of a man’s character is what he would do if he never thought he would be found out.”

When taking the decision, he did, and by the instructions he issued The Australian Men’s Cricket Captain believed he would not be found out and such is the measure of his character.

Our Social Media and Other Data Profiling Giveaways

Has anyone been surprised to learn Facebook collects and retains a huge amount of data about its users, irrespective of our privacy settings?

Likewise, has anyone been surprised this data can be available for harvest by the likes of Cambridge Analytical in order to help formulate marketing strategies aimed at influencing what we buy, where we go and even how we vote?

I have not read the Facebook Terms and Conditions. I have simply assumed that anything I post on Facebook is available to everyone and anyone.

And it is not just what we voluntarily post on Facebook that builds our blueprint.

Have you ever completed one of those quirky quizzes that present from time to time?

Just for fun, have you answered the 10 questions to test your knowledge of movies made in the 50’s or to see how many songs you can identify from the opening lyric.

Then there s the one challenging us to name the car maker from their logo.

There is the 21 questions to test you basic maths knowledge and my favourite of all, 10 questions to determine if you are a narcissist.

All good fun however, my assumption is such quizzes only add to the information “they” have about us and allow greater potential to target market us based on a more comprehensive data base about us.

Thankfully, the saving grace is that Facebook is free.

We “tell all” when it comes to our shopping habits too.

Who has a Woolworths card, the orange piece of plastic scanned at the time of purchasing in Woolworths and associated outlets?

This is anther way we provide valuable data about “us” to business. Every scan of the card tells Woolworths what we have purchased. It is the same with Flybuys and other scannable loyalty cards.

Retailers are building a profile of our shopping habits. Maybe I buy most my groceries from Woolworths or Coles however not all. They can then target market me with details about their prices for these products or special offers.

If you doubt me, perform your own experiment. If you usually shop at Woolworths, over the next month separate your fresh food purchases so they are not included in the purchase linked to the scan of your card.

Woolworths will identify your change in buying habits and as a result, I expect you will be marketed to in a way that encourages you to purchase fresh produce from them. After all, they have your e-mail address.

The cost of this experiment may be fewer opportunities to receive a fuel discount.

Thankfully, Woolworths and other retail loyalty programmes are free.

Fortunately, not all our purchases are aligned to a loyalty programme.

I note with interest, free WIFI being available at some shopping centres. I have also noticed free WIFI being available at various airports around the world and on public transport.

Free WIFI is great. When shopping, we can save our mobile data and when at international airports, the valuable an expensive international roaming data can be preserved.

Using the WIFI at a shopping centre allows our movements to be tracked including the shops we visit and how much time we stay at each. It is similar at airports too and all of our data, is valuable data to someone else. Remember, we had to register to use it.

Is it any different on public transport?

Surely nothing we do when using free WIFI on a train is of any use. They already know what we are doing when we use our travel card to tag on and off at the start and end of our journey.

What I do know is I have to register to use free railway provided or facilitated WIFI and assume any site I visit while using it will be recorded.

However, because I have not read the terms and conditions of use I have no idea if that data about me can be sold or used to generate marketing campaign aimed at me.

Yet again, it is good that it is free.

Although, I am also reminded of the saying:

 
If you don’t pay for the product, you are the product.

My Challenge With Diversity and Equality

I have written reasonably regularly about diversity and equality.

When doing so, it has always been at the back of my mind that I write from a privileged position.

As a white, allegedly educated male living in a predominantly Anglo Saxon society, I have been the benefactor of what may be referred to as gender inequality and a lack of diversity.

Bottom line is, I have never really suffered any discrimination.

I have always been cynical about calls for quotas in order to correct inequality. My preference has been to establish such a robust and clear selection criterion that the best person irrespective of gender, age or race.

However, I also realise that a quota approach will more quickly establish a more balanced base upon which to build a proper process where the best person always receives the opportunity.

My concern I guess, has been that discriminating positively, is not the right way to correct a situation born from discrimination, but then I am often accused of overt idealism.

I had been coming around to being more understanding of quotas and positive discrimination to more quickly establish an equilibrium

However, feedback from my recent International Women’s Day survey included 2 stories from one Women talking about highly qualified and experienced Males being overlooked in favour of novice Females for important roles in the Police and Military.

Fair or not?

My confusion has returned as has my awareness that as one who has never been adversely impacted by discrimination, it is difficult to form a balanced view.

Until today when I was confronted by a questionnaire.

I was studiously completing a submission for a writing assignment I am keen to be appointed to.

It was an online template submission, uploading documents, answering questions and the like and when all 6 steps are completed, click submit.

Having done so, I was then confronted with a further questionnaire. The questionnaire explanation referenced the contractors commitment to diversity and equal opportunity and that to meet their commitment, they need further information.

I did have the option to decline and contemplated doing so. I went ahead as I could see no real reason to not provide the information and it felt a little hypocritical to not do so.

The questions I answered about gender, race, age, ethnic background and a few other things are designed to provide information to ensure they maintain true diversity.

As new and as confronting as this was, it also occurred to me that this is truly an entity I would like to perform some work for.

 
Weekend time has arrived, enjoy, make the most of it, re-charge and embrace.

James Packer Hailed For His Courage - And that is an issue

Let’s raise a glass to James Packer. 

James Packer has withdrawn from Company Boards and Businesses in which he has substantial investments and in doing so, has said he is taking a break to address mental illness. 

He could easily have taken the break giving any number of reasons. It could have been something as simple as general health rectification and it would have been plausible given he does not look particularly healthy. 

For all his wealth, he was raised in a very “blokey” environment. His Father and Grandfather were notorious “hard men”, intolerant of failure and unable to display anything that could be perceived as a weakness. 

We have various examples of high profile sports, media and entertainment industry people being open and speaking publicly about their battles with mental illness, however this is the first time I can recall a powerful, high profile businessperson doing the same thing. 

There is still a long way to go. 

James Packer and the many sports and other people before him who have been open about the reasons they are withdrawing from public life have all been hailed for their courage in doing so. 

If James Packer was taking a break in order to undergo treatment for diabetics, heart disease or cancer, we would not be commenting about his courage. We would be empathetic and sympathetic. We may even credit his common sense for concentrating on his health. 

We will have made real progress in the treatment of mental health issues when we view such revelations as being normal, rather than courageous to talk about. 

When we reach this stage, we will have achieved something significant. 

Until then, after you have raised your glass to James Packer, raise another for organisations like Beyond Blue and then another for all the dedicated health professionals treating Mental and other ailments. 

Perhaps best to make sure the contents of the glass is nothing more potent than soda water, at least for raises two and three.

Relationship in Jeopardy - Announcing a Trial Separation

A long-term relationship on the brink of collapse is always sad.

Often the two parties grow at different paces and in different directions; priorities change.

There is no one thing but usually an accumulation of many factors over a period of time.

Chances are, one party has known for some time the relationship is in jeopardy.

There are cases when a trial separation proves successful in re-igniting the relationship, but many more when this is just an easy step towards the inevitable outcome.

It with a heavy heart that I announce a trial separation of a long-term relationship and one of the longest I have ever experienced.

The trial separation may well work and a happy reconciliation of two motivated and committed parties is the outcome.

Let’s see what happens.

To my soon to be separated relationship partner, I say:

“As we enter in to this period of separation, chances are my focus is on the emotional while increasingly, the financial has been your focus. I will work on finding some middle ground however I also need you to do the same, where money is not always more important than morality, ethics and loyalty.

My preference is that we do reconcile and find a way forward to our mutual benefit.

At times like these, it is easy to focus on the negative, nasty, ugly and hard times. In particular, 1985 comes to mind.

 

I had no concern when you changed your dress sense and included more colour in your wardrobe. I was accepting as your attention span became shorter and shorter. I was genuinely excited as you assertively sort to include other genders in our relationship. 

Be assured, I have loved, adored and been enthralled by you. At times I have been obsessed and fanatical about you and all too often prioritised you over business and other relationships. You have comforted me through many long and cold winter evenings. You have provided me with many more happy memories than sad.

Right now, I have no idea if we will reconcile.

I certainly wish you no harm.”

For a trial period, I announce my separation from the World of Cricket.

Could Of, Would Have, Should Have and a Harley

Is there anything you “Could Of” done but for whatever reason, did not?

What are the things you “Would Have” done then, but for whatever reason did not?

Are there events or actions you “Should Have” engaged in but didn’t?

If your answer to all the above is “No”, congratulations.

Ours is an era where age should be less of a restriction than ever before. We are living longer and can remain highly active far later in life than generations past.

Fifty year old’s are taking up marathon running and 60 year old’s are returning to University to study the subject and profession denied them in their youth.

Fifteen years ago I listened as a friend expressed regret at never learning to ride a motorbike. A month or two ago she took delivery of a Harley Davidson.

She could have learned to ride in her twenties and should have. She also would have if not for the negative encouragement of her then Partner.

Now in her late 40’s, instead of living with the regret of not learning to ride a motorbike, she took control and has achieved her ambition.

It can be something far simpler than a Harley Davidson.

Another friend had a passion from the age of 15 to work in professional cycling. Many years later he is working in a totally unrelated field however, instead of living with regret, he has taken a small step and commenced a World Cycling Tour related Blog.

While this is not exactly “working” in professional cycling, it is a form of participating in the sport and who knows where it may lead. What is certain, if he had done nothing, nothing would ever happen. It is early days however he is already attracting about 200 readers a day.

 

It could be that you always wanted to grow vegetables, cook Chinese food or fly model aircraft.

I seem to have been inundated with expressions of work dis-satisfaction this last week. I have heard multiple tales of longings for the Easter break and 4 days away from the drudgery of work after which another way to cope will have to be found.

I have heard several tales of dissatisfaction around the direction a career has taken accompanied in two cases by statements of regret for not applying for another role when the chance was there. A classic “Should Have” scenario.

It is never to late to re-visit the Coulds, Woulds and Shoulds of our life and to take steps to eliminate them from our life.

We are forever been told about the limitless opportunities available. Chances are we tell others and in particular those younger than us, just that.

The opportunities are there for us too and we can set an example to all.

You only need to look at my Harley Davidson owning friend. She enrolled in motorbike riding lessons, obtained her licence, developed her skills, enjoyed it immensely, upgraded her licence and bought a Harley.

When she talks to her daughters about following their dreams, she can do so having done just that herself. She has the credibility of having walked the walk.

She has removed a key regret of her life.

Imagine if we all set about doing the same.

 

Change The Workplace Behaviour Narative

We have National, or International Day’s to promote a cause, remember a significant historical event or draw attention to something and seemingly anything.
 
Some days are trivial while others are ground breaking and important. Some days are well publicised while others pass largely unnoticed.
 
Last Friday appears to be one that passed largely unnoticed despite it being a day we were being called upon to act on a matter of significant importance.
 
Friday 16 March was “National Day Against Bullying and Violence”.
 
I am sure we all agree this to be a day worthy of attention.
 
However, I am quickly forming the opinion that such a day would be better expressed in a positive narrative aimed on achieving positive sustainable actions and activities.  
 
It is better to act “for something” rather than “against something”.
 
How different would it be to call the day:-

"National Day of Compassion, Understanding, Respect, Courtesy and Decency?"

By way of example, let's look at the workplace.
 
If you have changed employers in recent years, chances are you had some form of new starter training. Further, you may even have had to complete some accreditations.
 
There is a high probability the first things you were taught about your new employer was their anti-bullying, anti-discrimination, workplace harassment and equal opportunity policies.
 
Examples would have been provided of bullying behaviours and other unacceptable practices.
 
Instead of educating against poor behaviour, would it not be far more effective, positive and sustainable to educated for good behaviour?
 
How powerful would it be if a workplace made it clear that the minimum requirement is use of the words “Please and Thank you”? Very old fashioned, but very classy too.
 
What if smiling and saying good morning to colleagues and using their name was adopted as the proper and courteous thing to do?
 
From the Board Table down, speaking in a refrained and cordial tone is expected and swearing is frowned upon.

Addressing bullying and appropriate workplace behaviour by re-setting the narrative to the positive must surely represent a better way. If nothing else, it is worth a try because it can be argued the current approach is not working. It does however tick a box.

 
The problem is, what I propose is far more difficult and needs to be practiced by all, at all levels, all of the time.
 
Then again, nothing worthwhile is easy.
 
All it needs is an employer genuinely committed to a safe, positive and equal workplace.
 
An employer who means what they say rather than just wanting to “tick the proverbial box.”



 

The Cost of Kindness

Yesterday, one of my connections posted an article on LinkedIn..

It wasn’t an article aimed at educating us about the next new thing to help of our businesses achieve something wonderful. lep top the next level of growth, sales of revenue.

It was not an article inspiring Leadership, motivation, meditation or mindfulness.

It was not about team building, presentation skills or the latest IT development.

It was far more insightful and important.

The article was a challenge to all readers to perform a random act of kindness and to record it in the comments section. Further, the author offered an incentive to do so in the form of a donation to a charity.

The last time I looked, there was but a single comment.

I have enough faith in humanity to believe and act of kindness was performed by more than one reader, leaving me pondering if we are embarrassed by sharing what it is we do to help others.

I wondered if we consider sharing such acts as being a weakness?

Alternatively, do we perform acts of kindness with no desire for any recognition?

Chances are it is a combination of both with an emphasis on the later.

Moving on.

I attended a meeting at a café earlier today with someone who I have met with regularly over nearly 30 years now.

He went to the counter and ordered, long black for two one (his) with hot milk on the side.

About 10 minutes later, one of the staff came to our table and handed him his credit card. I asked if they had a problem with their EFTPOS machine because I have cash and can pay.

In an evasive manner, he said they didn’t.

Further questioning revealed he had paid for the order of an Ambulance officer who joined the queue a few places behind him and leaving his card for payment, it was now being returned to him

He subsequently told me that for 15 years or more, whenever he notices a police officer, ambulance officer, fireperson or nurse, he quietly and confidentially arranges to pay for their coffee order asking the café to say their order has been paid for by another patron who wants to thank them for all they do for the community.

He added, while all these people choose their work and are paid for it, no amount of money is adequate compensation for some of the situations they find themselves in and if my little gesture of thanks makes a tiny difference, then we are all better off.

The events of today have left me wondering if we should be more open about our acts of kindness.

Australian culture is one where we frown upon those who talk themselves up or self-promote however, perhaps we over do this.

We are forever being lectured about the example we set to the next generation and being good role models but we tend to only address this is the wake of a negative occurrence.

There are so many ways to help someone or to perform an act of kindness. It may be helping a parent put a pram in a car, holding the door open for an elderly couple or assisting someone in the Medicare office struggling with the paper work.

It may be buying a coffee for a Cop or Ambo.

Being a little more open about such acts is a most tangible and meaningful example to everyone.

May your weekend be satisfying, energising, educational and enchanting, plus all else you want it to be.

 

 

 

Rugby - A Brand in Decline

This may evolve in to one of those retrospective articles about the good old days.

Then again, there is no such thing because today is no more than the "good old day" of the future so every day in every era is technical good.

But I digress.

There was a time when I would attend all representative locally staged games.

 

The weekend Queensland played New South Wales in Brisbane was a major event on the annual sporting calendar and we were all encouraged to come along and “boo a blue”.

The Queensland players were as well known as any of the other local sporting identities and Andrew Slack was captain of Queensland and Australia.

I followed Rugby closely and enjoyed a great day out on game day at Ballymore, ending in post-game analysis under the grand stand consuming some of the major sponsor’s product.

Rugby had not yet entered the professional era and drew most of its players from Queensland’s private schools.

I can hardly name a current Queensland player and hardly noticed when the season started a few weeks ago.

The new Women’s Rugby competition started last week and again, if I did not know one of the players from the first women’s team of 1996, I would not have been aware of this event.

Over time, the maroons became the reds and now if I boo a blue, I am booing a team from South Africa, or is it New Zealand.

Other than New South Wales, Auckland was always the arch rival of Queensland however I have no idea which team represents Auckland now.

Rugby has lost out in the battle for sporting exposure and as such, has lost many followers and with it, perhaps its long term future.

A  days past, a player with the fundamental skills to play a Rugby code, League or Union, would make a decision as to the direction they would go. And, there were very different reasons for choosing one over the other.

Now, the only reason is money.

Rugby is not only losing the battle for an audience but is losing the battle in Australia for the elite athlete. The elite male at least

I have grave doubts of the Rugby brand ever recovering and of Australia’s ability to remain an elite Rugby nation.

I usually like to conclude an article such as this with some kind of suggested solution, however, in this case, I wonder if there is one.

 

Perhaps the Women's game will spike interest and bring greater awareness to the sport. This has certainly been the case with Soccer, AFL and Cricket. The difference is, these sports were not faltering in the first place.  

 

In Women's Super Rugby there is a new competition to promote and a need to grasp the opportunity while it is still new.

 

It was great to see 8 or 10 of the first ever Queensland Women's Rugby Team from 20 years ago attending the first game of the new Women's Super Rugby competition last week. I hope they were properly looked after however I suspect they may well have paid for their own tickets on a day when they could have been publically celebrated for being the original pioneers of representative Women's Rugby.

Then again, today is the good old day of a decades’ time, so all is ok, apparently.

When Winning Meant Everything To Me

My upbringing was heavily surrounded by competitive team sport.

It was very much an environment where the measure of success was being ahead on the scoreboard when the game ends.

It was not quite a win at all costs or a whatever it takes mentality but close to it.

Aggression was expected whereas violence was not tolerated, nor was any act deemed cowardly.

The umpire’s decision was final, however if you could break a rule and get away with it, that was ok. It was also ok to apply pressure to an umpire in the hope of receiving a more favourable outcome next time, if that helped me win.

There was a requirement for the team came first over and above any individual glory or achievement. Awards celebrating personal success were frowned upon and highest goal scoring awards or batting average trophies were despised. The team scored the goal not the individual.

As a golfer, I had no performance expectations and as such, this was the only sport I could ever play socially, or just for fun. For everything else, fun was only in the winning.

I took much of this approach in to my working life.

I would look at most things in terms of a competition to be won, or to be lost. Most interactions were viewed as contest and my team in this environment became my work colleagues in the department or division I was a part of at that time.

On the sporting field, I was not seeking to be popular or liked but I hoped to be respected. It was the same in business.

The main thing was to at worst ensure I was not letting the team down and at best, making the major contribution to team success. Looking back, it is with no pride that I admit my competitiveness could at times be quite brutal and un-compromising, in sport and in business.

I prided myself on being direct in communication and opinion without regard of how I left another person feeling, or the negative impact this had on them.

About 15 years ago I tempered my ways. I was aware my approach was destructive to me and to others.

I consciously and deliberately changed from treating every situation as one to emerge from in victory.

For a few years I perhaps over compensated and became too passive or mellow but eventually found what I hope was an appropriate balance and more so, I hope those I worked with benefited from this. I know I did.

Why am I reflecting on this now?

There is someone who dominates our news cycle each and every day and who directly and indirectly impacts the lives of much of the world’s population. I suspect he too has a tendency to view everything in terms of winning or losing however in his case, this is magnified many times greater than I could ever have imagined.

Also, there is no team glory only his own.

Where will it all end?

At best, it will end when he is surrounded by people who only ever endorse whatever it is he wants to Tweet about in that moment.

At worst, it will end with something unfathomable.

Unfortunately, achieving the “best” outcome may only accelerate the “worst”.

A “no win” situation if ever there was one.

Exercising Creative Solutions

I was getting nowhere.

I am sure you have experienced the feeling of having a piece of work to do and spending hours, getting nowhere.

I was drafting content for a new website. I understood the brief and the feeling required. I understood the subject matter and the objective of this section of the new website.

If it were 20 years ago, the paper bin would have been full of discarded drafts.

This was not even a long piece; 200 words at most and not at all technical.

I usually write in silence however if the task is proving to be a challenge, there is an instrumental music set by Tony O’Connor that I fall back on to release my creative flow.

The set lasts 50 minutes and when it concluded, I was no more advanced than when it started.

I know, I need coffee. Back to back coffees later and I still had nothing worthy of publishing.

Sadly, If I was writing this for myself, I would simply have changed topics and started something new, or even worse, lowered my standards and gone with it anyway.

My task has to be completed today so it was getting to the stages of last resort.

There was a time when “last resort” would have had me reaching for a glass of wine, a whiskey or at one stage, a glass of port but those days are far, far behind me.

Instead, I found myself saying, literally saying out loud, “going for a run will fix it”.

I was somewhat surprised at this solution presenting itself and rejected it on the basis that disappearing for an hour or more was not going to get the content written.

Twenty minutes and no progress later, I changed, stretched, warmed up and started a run.

The path and grass were damp from recent rainfall and while the sun was shining, menacing rain clouds were in the distance. Not to worry, I had work to do.

Relaxing in to an easy pace (in reality I only have one pace) I found myself drafting in my mind the content I was after and doing so clearly, easily and concisely.

It all came together in my mind, fluently and precisely as I wanted it to read and to feel.

I went over it several times to make sure I would remember it when sitting at the keyboard and having satisfied myself I would, I relaxed further in to the run.

I found myself wondering what would have happened if I had an injury and was not able to run today?

I realised the run itself was not the key factor in the solution.

The solution to my dilemma was to change the environment and the energy I was in. It just so happened the run I went for facilitated this.

How many day in day out challenges or problems are out there waiting for a quick, correct and different solution?

I recall many hours spent in meetings discussing issues and as impatience set in, a less than optimal solution being agreed.

I wonder how powerful it would be if team members and leaders were empowered to meet a challenge or find the optimal solution by changing their physical environment. Imagine if meeting in a park or by a river was deemed acceptable? What could happen if 3 team members headed for the gym and had a treadmill or step class instead of clambering around the table with the obligatory whiteboard wall hanging.

Surely this is a far more positive action to unleash some creative thinking and problem solving than the traditional trek to the coffee shop or the bar.

 

Sadly, it may not be as acceptable.

You Are Not Helping My Goals - So..........

Who decides what the theme of the week is?

I am starting to suspect someone, somewhere sits down each week and by themselves, or with others, make a decision as to what will be the social media theme of the week.

Last week it seemed many posts, and shared/re-tweeted posts addressed the idea of removing from our friend and acquaintance list anyone not making a positive contribution to our goals. This covered multiple platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn

Just wipe them, unfriend, unfollow or formally communicate the relationship or collaboration is over, done, dusted, finite.

Or don’t.

Before using the words, I wrote above, I went back and cross checked a number of posts. I needed to be sure of the context and to make sure the theme I detected was true.

Sadly, it was.

It is one thing to remove from our life those who cause us pain and hurt. It is even ok to remove those who we know are negative. (I guess).

However, the theme that seemed to come through last week was a great deal more brutal.

I confirmed the encouragement or suggestion was to remove all and anyone not making a positive contribution to our goals.

 

Putting it more succinctly, if you are not helping me get what I want, I don’t want to know you.

If it was remove those who harm you, ok, but it wasn’t.

How did we get to this?

I know someone with a goal to live and work in New York City. I do nothing to progress him achieving his goal so should he all of a sudden be unavailable for our coffee catch-ups?

I know someone else who has a driving goal to restore Tony Abbot as Prime Minister. I am certainly doing nothing to assist this, quite the opposite probably. We meet most weeks to discuss business matters and cricket and usually end up arguing politics. He should wipe me too.

Perhaps this is fall out from Trumpism and the idea that if you are not 100% for me, you are against me.

Whatever the reason, I find it to be a quite disturbing and even destructive trend and one I hope is an aberration.

Thankfully there was some balance today when a friend posted this.

 

 
As for a trend this week, it is only day one however there seems to be quite a deal of activity about concentrating on what we do best.

Lets see how that evolves over the coming days.

Hoax on Women - Harsh Comment - Decide for Yourself

I continue to be surprised and interested in the feedback provided concerning International Women’s Day and #metoo.

I am also both grateful and humbled by the thoughtful and lengthy responses.

A heart wrenching story was relayed to me about a brother and sister and there being sufficient funds only for one to receive a tertiary education. As desperate as the sister was to study at University, the funds were allocated to her brother, because he was the male.

The lady in question did achieve an education thanks to the support of an Aunt and declared that no matter what, all her children would have the opportunity to study. The person who relayed this story is the daughter of the lady who received her Aunt’s help and has herself completed 5 degrees while working and raising a family.

This is progress and within the space of a lifetime too.

As controversial as this may sound, little or no real progress has been made towards gender equality in Australia in this century. I therefore ask, "in Australia, is International Women’s Day part of a cruel hoax where Women are again the victim?

Let us look at how Australia is tracking in several areas: *

1.     The Gender Pay Gap

The gender pay gap stands at 15.3% having closed by 3% since 2014.

If you consider this to be progress, or even a start in the right direction, you would be wrong.

In 2004, the pay gap was 14.9 so it has actually increased.

 

The gender pay gap has actually widened, not narrowed these last 14 years.

 

2.     Female Representation at Senior Levels in Business

Women make up 25% of Board Directors in Australia and only 25 of the ASX200 companies have targets in place to increase female representation.

Further, top-tier female managers earn $93,000 less than their peers, yes, ninety-three thousand dollars less.

 

I guess this is no surprise given the pay gap has widened.

I have seen no studies suggesting there is less discrimination, sexual harassment or violence against women than there was 10, 15 or 20 years ago.

 

So, what is being celebrated?

There does appear to be progress in some professions.

Take Medicine for example

Certainly, there are no barriers to entry in to Medical studies. You meet the criteria or you don’t.

In 2016/17, there were more Women than Men in General Practice in Australia **

On the surface, this is an encouraging trend however are there other factors to consider.

Why do Women account for less than one-third of advanced vocational trainees in general surgery, intensive care and oral and maxillofacial surgery?

Could it be the reported relative high propensity for allegations of sexual harassment and bullying that have plagued male-dominated medical professions like surgery and intensive care?

What affect does this have on Women choosing General Practice and hence the higher percentage of total GP’s?

So what has progress stalled?

In a male dominated world, it seems the expectation is for Women to be more like “us”. This must be an unachievable expectation and must be a concept we reject. After all, it has not worked.

To support this, I quote the following feedback:

“But the quality and energy that is being done in now and days like today, is very masculine. What I mean by that is it feels very hard, women ‘pushing’ an agenda and it actually feels very imposing. Not only on men, but also other women.”

Further, the following words of historian Mary Beard were brought to my attention:

"You can’t easily fit women into a structure that is already coded as male; you have to change the structure.”

Our environment today is one where we value “disruption” such as Uber, AirBnB and Amazon, all who have achieved stunning results in a very short space of time.

We need gender equality disruption and my random list to progress this is:

·       A new energy is needed for a world where Men and Women meet in the middle where all gender can be true to themselves and let go past behaviour expectations . The idea that equality will be achieved by Women becoming more like Men is as failed as it is ludicrous. It is a joint responsibility.

·       Men can demand equality. Male actors in Hollywood have refused to commit to projects unless pay gaps with their female co-stars were closed. Locally, when their female colleagues had little or no bargaining power, high profile male AFL players stood up for AFL Women to get a better deal as part of the new pay and conditions agreement. Elite male cricketers refused to agree to a new pay deal until conditions for Women and “less elite” males were improved despite Cricket Australia’s attempt to divide and conquer. Sporting pay gaps are still huge but in AFL and Cricket, there was progress.

·       Us Men have a responsibility and must realise we are activists and beneficiaries and  not spectators in the gender equality challenge.

·       Human Resource areas have a huge role to play. They are in positions to demand greater parity across their organisation and to devise and enforce appropriate policies. They must also hand over their role as being where complaints are made to and where they are investigated. This must be independent and seen to be so.

·       Women who achieve high positions in Corporate Life must become activists on behalf of change. Female CEO’s have been great at addressing women’s forums on women’s issues and challenges. However, they need to be speaking at far more diverse forums about gender equality while demanding change within their own organisations. What if Gail Kelly as CEO of Westpac had decreed that supplies would be sourced only from organisations that could demonstrate adherence to equal employment and opportunity practices and to robust complaint handling processes?

In summary, the most interesting thing for me coming out of International Women’s Day are:

1.     The huge diversity in just what the day means to Women and Men.

2.     It is a valued opportunity to take a break and celebrate those who went before and battled for what Women have today.

3.     There is no correlation with #metoo

The most concerning thing I have discovered is just how little progress has been made in Australia in so many areas and just how much has still to be done.

I also learned that we may be delusional about what has been achieved in real terms over the last 20 years.

 

* Article including links to source data quoted

 

** Source for GP information including reference to Medical Board of Australia Data report