Women Deserve to be Supported in the Decisions They Make - By All

Today is International Women’s Day.

There were several events causing me to consider writing about International Women’s Day and these were also causing me to have mixed views about the day.

It is difficult to explain. I wonder if the need for such a day is counterproductive in itself. For example, are we saying “lets allocate a day to thinking about and recognising Women and then get back to our business feeling better about ourselves for having done so, with nothing changed”?

Alternatively, taking a day to commemorate those who have fought to progress equality and to re-set for the future is of great value.

 

Double J online radio was acknowledging International Women’s Day by playing music by female artists only, presented by all female on-air personalities. Part of me felt this to be a novelty, trivial even. Alternatively, it is a tangible means of raising awareness of prejudice towards Women making their way in the creative industries.

I received a message from a friend first thing this morning. She was referencing International Women’s Day and I suspect felt I would be writing about it. She questioned it’s relevance given the rise of the #metoo movement. We exchanged a few messages and I will address this in future posts.

As a Male in my 50’s, I am always conscious of valid criticism of my qualifications to write about such topics. I therefore sought feedback and input from a wide range of friends. By wide range, I included male and female, gay and straight, singles, marrieds, parents and grandparents. I included self-employed, employees, business owners, educators and unemployed. There was a sprinkling too of people raised in other cultures.

The feedback so far has had several distinct themes to it and I will address these in the coming days.

Today, I want to talk about some of the most passionate and perhaps most concerning feedback.

It comes from a couple in their early 30’s who have been together for 4 or so years.

They are building their careers and establishing themselves. There has been a little travel but nothing exotic.

The feedback received talked about the disappointment with the support of women for the choices of other women.

Specifically, they feel they are constantly judged, denigrated and undervalued predominantly by Women for not having started a family or sharing any plans to do so.

Women do not support their choice.

They cast doubt on the authenticity of a Day where Women collectively raise a glass and toast themselves.

There is clearly much hurt for this couple and “her” in particular at the constant judgements passed of them and expressed to them, by women.

I know many Women for whom the planets have not aligned for them to have children. Relationships haven’t worked or they spent periods of time between relationships when they might otherwise have been having a child.

I know several people who are simply unable to have children no matter desperate they are too.

I suspect they have been subjected to similar treatment.

Much of the feedback I have received was expected while much like this case, was a complete surprise.

International Women’s Day is one where perhaps the focus is on greater equality and ensuring Women can make the decisions and have the same opportunities afforded us males.

However, surely it should also be a day when we all re-focus and commit to supporting everyone for the decisions they make, the pathway they wish to take and that this be equal for all.

Including Motherhood.

Self Awareness - The Missing Business Start Up Ingedient

Succeeding in a start up business requires many things, including luck.

However, I suspect the component often missing when a great idea fails to get off the ground is the self-awareness of the creator.

My mind turned to this in the wake of the demise of Doughnut Time* and the founder’s other business enterprises.

The general consensus is Doughnut Time was a great business idea and a fun product adored by many.

The other businesses created by the same person were also hailed as being innovative, creative and were even credited with the revitalisation of an inner-city area.

Sadly, many people have lost their jobs and, in some cases, have not been paid for several weeks.

Concerning the collapse of another business, closure occurred just before Christmas and a number of functions booked did not go ahead and deposits were lost.

The general consensus is the business models were fundamentally sound however were poorly executed or the execution lacked the necessary fundamental business disciplines. To put it another way, the boring stuff was missing.

Arguably, the individual possessing the creativity needed to foresee a new business opportunity and to sell the concept to the public by definition will not have the tendency to apply the boring repetitive management needed to operate the business day in day out.

In recent months I have attended several sessions for Start Up enterprises and budding entrepreneurs.

A common theme is having the self-awareness to know what it is you are good at and to ensure you concentrate most of your energies on that. Accordingly, it is necessary to recruit or seek equity partners that can competently fill the gaps in the skills and knowledge you lack and are needed for success.

The biggest challenge is to get the timing right and know just when to bring those skills in.

Several Doughnut Time outlets have been rescued and hopefully, a sound business will recover and prosper.

  

*   I have never been in to a Doughnut Time or consumed their produce.

Optimism - "The New Black"

Are you a glass half full or a glass half empty person?

It is fascinating that two people from identical backgrounds may look at the 50% filled container and describe it in a different way.

It is perhaps concerning that immediate and defining judgements are made depending upon if they say “half full” or “half empty”.

One will be held out to be a positive and optimistic go getter and the other as a down cast pessimist.

Is that fair?

Consider this:

What if the glass contained that most disgusting liquid required to be consumed for a medical test. You may even have consumed that chalky gag inducing concoction the day before “that test”.

All of a sudden, looking at the glass as being half empty is a far more optimistic outlook than describing at being half full.

When asked the question as to if we are a glass half full or half empty person, maybe we should first determine what is in the glass.

There seems to be pressure for us to be seen as optimistic and to be of a positive disposition.

The usual catch phrases are rolled out. It’s an opportunity not a problem or out of every thunderstorm comes a rainbow.

Perhaps my favourite is, if it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger implying there is no space between death and not death, but I digress.

Look at your connections on Instagram and see how many posts depict a negative situation. We are forever feeling the expectation of presenting ourselves as optimistic and positive.

What does being optimistic really mean?

I have landed on optimism as being a belief there is a viable and meaningful solution to every situation that arises.

And it doesn’t matter if the solution is to empty the remaining contents of the glass or to top it up, it is simply a belief that a solution exists and you can contribute to determining what it is.

Optimism is not "The New Black" but it just may be the same old "Green" (or blue, purple, yellow or red)

Success of #MeToo Does Not Translate To Real Workplaces

On a day when the elite of Hollywood gather to congratulate and award themselves, I am listening to a radio report about abusive behaviour towards women in the workplace.

On Hollywood's night of nights, much is being made of the #MeToo movement and its success in raising awareness of abusive, exploitative and discriminatory workplace behaviour, and quite rightly too.

The fact that very wealthy, successful and empowered stars of the screen have had difficulty finding the courage to “call out” bad behaviour in the film and television industry only highlights how difficult it is for let's say normal everyday people to make a complaint or raise a behaviour issue.

I am listening to how women generally feel a lack of empowerment to follow internal complaint procedures when they feel they have been treated or behaved towards in the wrong way.

A highly qualified, confident woman is outlining her workplace experience and her efforts to tough it out before finally leaving, but not before her health was impacted. She was a senior professional working in a professional environment and one dominated by males.

She admitted being aware of the policies and procedures in place to protect her and being aware of complaint procedures she should follow.

She also admitted having little or no confidence in the role the Human Resources area would play in addressing her issues. She said it is a common perception that HR exists to protect the employer and not the employee in cases of complaint.

This is a perception I heard many times during my Corporate Life and I add, one from my observation to not be correct.

My observation was that a formal complaint was always handled professionally and correctly by HR. My concern is HR would not look in to a matter brought to their attention unless a formal complaint was lodged.

In my opinion, Corporates are serious about addressing and correcting any and all cases of inappropriate behaviour and to do so in a way that is fair to all.

However, if significant progress is to made to eliminate inappropriate workplace behaviour, the process for raising issues needs to change and the perception of HR areas needs to be respected. As the saying goes “perception is reality”.

It can no longer be the domain of HR to be a part of the process of investigation or recommending any action based on an investigation. It is not uncommon for a complaint to be quite correctly un-substantiated. When this happens, HR are accused of being biased in favour of the employer. It is a no win situation.

The process for making a complaint needs to involve an independent party and this needs to be the first step in the process. It needs to be taken outside of the employer’s domain.

The identity of the complainant needs to remain confidential and recommended actions following an investigation needs to be provided in the first instance to an independent Director.

I realise my suggestion is extreme and I also realise I have included very few operational details including how an investigation would be conducted.

My key point is, most employees do not feel empowered to take action when feeling bullied, harassed or discriminated against and a better pathway needs to be found.

Employers are serious about stamping these behaviours out of their workplaces. To do so, they need to put in place far better and more meaningful processes for doing so.

And at the same time, simply knowing there is an independent process in place will have an immediate positive impact on workplace behaviour.

It is time to back up the words with meaningful action.

Heart Felt Lessons - A Decade On

What a difference a decade makes.

I woke this morning refreshed, relaxed and optimistic.  Some fruit and a cup of tea preceded a short drive and a view of the risen sun over water from where my bike ride would commence.

It was a warm morning but at 6 am, far cooler than it was to be a couple of hours later. A pleasant breeze also made for comfortable cycling.

The freedom that comes with moving forward on a machine powered by your own lungs and muscles is one I always cherish, and even more so this morning.

On the same morning a decade earlier, I woke with a fresh 20 centimetres wound running length ways down my sternum, another down my left arm and yet another on the inside of my lower left leg, each a little longer than the chest wound.

A few hours earlier, a breathing tube inserted through my mouth had been removed.

However, I did have four neat round holes in my abdomen and through each was a rubber tube. I also had a tube in my forearm and another tube, let’s just say and another tube as well.

  

Each of the four rubber tubes was draining its own arterial bypass following the open heart surgery I had performed on me the previous day. 

A few days later these rubber tubes were removed and the pain and discomfort of their removal is something I never want to go through again.       

You would think the brutality of the surgery and subsequent lengthy and often uncomfortable rehabilitation would motivate a commitment to good health but nothing compares to the motivation provided by the removal of these tubes.

As amazed as I was about the ability to perform open heart surgery, I was more amazed by the ability of the human body and mind to heal and repair itself.

Ten years on, the fact I had such surgery is almost surreal. 

Now when I talk about heart health and my story, it is as if I am talking about another person. It is hard to believe this was me in intensive care on that 4 March morning 10 years ago.

Much has changed from that person of 10 years ago.

My alcohol consumption ranges from zero through to slightly less than minuscule and dairy is restricted to the thimble full of milk I have in a cup of tea.

A Pizza is something I have to celebrate the completion of a marathon or the end of a weeklong cycling adventure.

I am more than 20 kilograms lighter.

Exercise to varying intensity is a daily occurrence and few things are given priority over my health. This may sound selfish but I am no good to anyone if I am not healthy.

However, the most significant realisation of my surgical experience was during the recovery phase.

I learned that if we give ourselves the best possible chance of achieving something, our mind and body will deliver.

And best possible chance means there can be no short cuts and no excuses.

Our mind and our body are waiting to deliver all that we want them too and they deliver totally and every time; yes, every single time. 

The problem is, they assume that how we feed our mind and feed our body is representative of what we want from them.

The choice is ours to make, about everything we do, need and want.

The challenge  is deciding what we want, how much we want it and what food our mind and body needs to deliver it, because based on what we feed them, they will deliver.

Gambling and Guns

How many of us realised there is an election in Tasmania tomorrow?

If you are a mainlander and did know about the election, did you really care about it?

While there are the now usual raft of independent and small party candidates, the Government will be formed by one of the major parties.

Unusually in this era of bland leadership and small target policies, there are several vastly different policy positions driving support for one side or the other.

The Tasmanian Labour Party has taken a stand on poker machines.

 

Citing the damage to families and society in general of these highly addictive money drainage machines, Labour has promised to remove them from pubs and clubs.

The Liberals fully support the status quo.

A clear difference indeed.

The other clear difference has only become public today and almost by accident.

It also represents a significant change of policy by the ruling Liberal Party

Given this policy shift, it is surprising what was agreed some weeks ago, has not been spruiked far and wide. After all, politics is about selling your policies to an electorate in order to receive their vote.

Then again, maybe the Liberals wanted to keep this one quiet.

The Tasmanian Liberals have agreed with the Sporting Shooters to relax gun control laws in Tasmania.

They have committed to longer licence terms and to allowing semi-automatic weapons.  

I am speechless.

 

Questions With Purpose Are More Than Questions

What a difference it makes when looking through a different lens.

The situation doesn’t change, the challenge is the same but the outcome can be so different.

I was asked if I could help a recent graduate who was said to be in a bit of a rut.

Aged in her mid-twenties, she completed her studies about 18 months and secured employment  in a role that broadly uses her qualifications.

While at University, she took a break and travelled extensively through Europe so has seen a little of the world.

In order to save funds for travel, she demonstrated a work ethic and discipline that will serve her well in to the future.   

Her problem; she doesn’t know what sort of work she wants to do.

She may be making use of her qualifications with what she is doing now, but it is repetitive, boring, unfulfilling and apart from filling a space on her C/v it is not a step to anything she claims to be interested in.

In talking to her, I quickly felt she was working in her field of qualification because that is what she is expected to do.

To most of my questions she answered “I just don’t know” so I changed the tone and delved a little deeper.  

I posed a closed question – “You don’t want to have anything to do with accounting do you”?

“No, I hate it and did from day 6 at University”. She enjoyed orientation week.

 

She went on to say she feels trapped in accounting.

I put it to her that everyone really does know what they want to do but do not feel empowered to say so. I gave her personal examples of what I wanted to do at the same age however at the time, I kept it to myself.

I turned the situation around, saying:

“Tell me what it is you really want to do and we will work together to make it happen”.

She knew precisely what she wanted to do and articulated this with intensity and passion. Her eyes lit up, her voice strengthened and rate of speaking increased. We discussed it further over the next hour and began to determine the barriers that need to be overcome to make it happen.

We have more to do

She knows precisely what she wants to do but until she could see past the question and envisage a road to achieving her goal occupation, she was reluctant to say what it is.

When really seeking to help someone find a way forward, our questions are often aimed at giving us what we want and not at providing a path forward for the person, family member or work colleague we are claiming to want to help.

As we wound up, she commented “what if we map all this out, do it and it still doesn’t happen”.

“That’s easy” I said “You will be happy and content knowing you gave it a proper chance.”  

I have no idea what the outcome of our deliberations will be.

I do know that simply asking the question “what do you want to do” will often bare no result, or at least no meaning or no true result.

What do you want to do and how will you make it happen?

It’s easy, isn’t it?